Monkey Business in the Big Apple

I looked around the lavish setting with big-eyed awe as the barman poured made our cocktails – clear, toffee-colored Manhattans. We had really struggled to find the place. The kind cab driver switched off the meter as he drove us up and down the road until we all simultaneously realized that the unmarked door guarded by heavies was in fact the very place we had been looking for – New York’s iconic Monkey Bar.

Frequented in the forties by the best in business, music and film, falling in and out of disrepair during the following decades and most recently highlighted as the glamorous venue for a date between Carrie and Big in Season Four of Sex and the City; the Monkey Bar has a history to be proud of. This I was well aware of on my maiden trip to New York – a city symbolized by the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Central Park and other impressive landmarks. So trust me to feel like I’ve truly arrived in the city of my dreams only when I’ve had a cocktail in a bar so symbolic of the location. A tad unfortunately, it was too late for there to be many other people around and although we had a good peek, the adjoining restaurant was closed. This all much to my indignation – the city is not supposed to sleep. Ever!

The romance and elegance of a by-gone era is immortalized by jungle jazz murals on the walls, pre-World War II fittings, voluptuous red booths and courtly tuxedoed waiters standing attentively behind the impressive wooden bar. It is a place in which one feels cushioned from the outside world – as if nothing bad could happen and that life really was all about designer ball gowns and sparkly things – and really, why not bring white gloves back?

I have only been to the Monkey Bar once, but I know that I will revisit whenever I return to New York. I will most likely never be a regular in the true, neighborhood sense of the word, yet my visits will be as regular as I can make them. In such a modern, exciting city it is a place that links the present with a more glamorous (and suggestively sordid) time; proof that true style and elegance has never been out of fashion and a testament to the staying power of the art of beautiful cocktails.

On the Rails - The Rocky Mountain Express

As we rattled through the British Columbian countryside, I gazed at the dappled colors of the passing leaves and reflected on our trip. Enjoyable? Immensely. Fun? Of course. Value for money? No way. We were on the Rocky Mountain Express bound for Vancouver, two cold breakfasts and lunches and one night’s stop in Kamloops included, all for $709.00 per person. Traveling economy from Jasper to the coast, our envious glances took in the large dome cars curving on the tracks behind us (filled with starched tablecloths, crystal glasses and hot gourmet meals) until we remembered how much their occupants had to fork out for their tickets - a whopping $1589.00 per person.

Our helpful guide made sure we were all wearing our red maple leaf pins as proudly as we could (as opposed to the shinier gold pins of the domed deluxe class) and from time to time told us about the area through which we were passing while serving us drinks, Bits ‘n Bites and cookies.

Aside from the scenery, which mostly consisted of leaves flashing past, occasional bridges and an awesome view of Mount Robson, it felt quite a lot like being in an airplane with more leg room. As all we could do was let go and relax, we napped, ate all the food that was handed out to us and read books and magazines, exchanging pleasantries with those seated around us.

Getting out in Kamloops was a relief after sitting all day - we explored the town more as a way of stretching our legs than actual sightseeing. Then we readied ourselves and made pretty for the Rocky Mountain Express Dinner Theatre ($80.00 per person, alcoholic drinks not included). Bussed through the town from our hotel, we were pleasantly surprised to be shown to our table in an amphitheater looking over the stage. The food was delicious. Fresh salads, good soup, a fragrant roast and their famed broiled salmon dish meant that the tickets were well worth while before the entertainment even started. That too, was pleasantly surprising. The all British Columbian cast sung along to favorites from the sixties as the lead actor made his way across Canada by, you guessed it, train. The service was amazing and tables cheered as their waitrons appeared for cameo parts onstage.

The next morning was filled with cheery hellos as all the travelers congregated in the hotel lobby for cardboard cups of tepid tea. Boarding the train felt like familiar territory and we settled in for our final day abroad. Cereal or croissants meant that the breakfasts were filling and inoffensive but the uninspiring choice of chilled salmon or chicken at lunch left us, well, cold. By this time the carriage was chatting raucously and sitting in each other’s seats as we dutifully filled out our evaluation forms, feeling like children at the end of a long school trip.

Pulling into Vancouver we waited in sidings for ages as the more important freight trains crawled by. We had enjoyed a great trip with family and had met lovely people. Would I recommend it? Only if you haven’t seen that portion of the Canadian countryside. Oh yes, and if you have the spare cash rattling around. Otherwise save it up for the tropical all-inclusive and get cocktails and a tan as well.

"You're a Million Miles Away and I Miss You So Today"

The old adage proclaims that absence makes the heart fonder, and is often irritatingly true. Like many of the millions of South Africans temporarily or permanently living outside the country, I miss home. A lot. Not just Mrs Ball’s Chutney or NikNaks (both of which I can buy for exorbitant prices from a shrivelled ex-Pretorian). Not just the mountain or the sea or the weather or the food. It’s that and other things too. I miss walking along a road and seeing people of all different shapes, sizes and colours. Or hearing different languages and practicing my faltering isiXhosa with ever-patient tutors. I even miss catcalls, shout-outs and rude gestures on the street – being politely first world is just no fun. In short, I long for the gees, and not only that belonging to the World Cup.

South Africa is cheeky, dangerous and hilariously funny, often because if it wasn’t, it would just be so much more sad. It’s a country with raw emotion, burgeoning creativity, a lack of electricity and bandwith and an overflow of bright, brash colour. So whenever I get overly sentimental (now, you say?) and bored with the bland safety and inane comforts of the first world, I play these songs.

1. Jack Parrow – “Cooler as Ekke”

Crazy guy, crazy song. One that only a true South African would understand. Zef rap is astonishingly comforting from outside the border, although I’m sure that once home it might not be my most often played song.

Best Line: “Jy’s die ou met die new, fresh look, Ek’s die ou met die Pep store broek”

2. Freshly Ground – “Chicken for Change”

Who could be sad or stand still while listening to any of this band’s songs? We started shuffling to Doo Be Doo and carried on from there. This is their new politically charged song, which showcases famous characters and is a Zapiro collaboration.

Best Line: It’s not a line at all, it’s Helen Zille’s dance moves. She’s awesome!

3. Karen Zoid – “Aeroplane Jane”

Gorgeous artist and, in my opinion, her bestest song! It’s so beautiful and evocative that you should listen to it instead of read this. I love the funny lyrics paired with the plaintive melody.

Best Line: “And the strange man next to me, don’t say thank you, don’t say please…he just cut my cheese”

4. Mandoza – “Nkalakatha”

I’m bopping in front of my screen right now (sadly in quite a white way). And although I don’t know what it means, I know all the words. The ultimate party song!

Best Line: “Nkalakatha… … Mandoza”

5. Soweto String Quartet – “Millenia”

This band has such a happy sound, and brings back Kirstenbosch picnics (overcrowded blankets, spilt wine, wind and fun)

Best Line: The looks on these guys’ faces says it all! I love their music videos.

6. Seether – “Careless Whisper”

If this choice is cheating because they are now based in the United States, I don’t care. To take a beautiful melody from whiny to rip-your-clothes-off sexy is quite a feat, and one I’m forever thankful they achieved.

Best Line: “There’s no comfort in the truth, pain is all you’ll find”. And his voice. Mmmm

7. Parletones – “Push Me to the Floor”

How do I choose just one song? I never have favourites and they are beyond a doubt my favourite SA band.

Best Line “Don’t stand next to me, I love the smell of ecstasy, it makes me feel inspired”

8. Gang of Instrumentals – “My Number One”

This song is such a fusion of cultures and music styles and just works. Whoops – I’m bopping again. Great South African band, I could dance (or just shuffle) to this anywhere!

Best Line: It’s pretty much “Mother of my baby, you are my number one”. A lot.

And now I’ve had my SA fix and I’m smiling. Have a great weekend everyone!